A Dark Moment

Today marks the end, culmination of a chapter in my life that could perhaps also be perceived as the beginning of another era. Some might say this is a point of diminishing returns where you could weigh both the options. Or is this that fourth dimension that completely defines the spatial temporal space in my worldview? I often wonder especially as I attempt to lay motionless in the midst of darkness. Why, though, we as a society feel the urge to categorize every event in our lives into disparate bins questioning it's relevance in our presence? Maybe they occur to serve a larger, bigger, more meaningful purpose in our existence. Today, however, I do not intend to speculate as I usually do. Today I would like to bask in the light of the event that many seek comfort in. I, unlike that quantifiable many, consider my small feeling of sadness a printable sign of my undying affection for the fruit of my womb. I could celebrate the past 9 months with flare and panache. Instead I lay in darkness counting the impossible possibilities, you know the would haves, could haves and should haves. I have decided to do away with compunction tomorrow. But today is mine and mine only and I will continue to self reproach because I can. That and that rationality alone will free my soul, today.